I wrote my first post as a one off, to really just put the thoughts that are and have been for a long time in my head down on paper as such, but what came next from the numerous messages from people who read the blog and really did relate, that, i wasn't expecting.
I didn't ever think i was alone with this feeling as there are tons of things online to help you get motivated but i thought what i was going through was kind of unique, somehow a "why is this happening to me" type feeling because i had and have all the right intentions, just felt myself finding the smallest of excuses to not go.
Even this week, after writing my blog and waking up to messages on social media throughout all platforms really, messages of encouragement, that people where in the same boat and that i even had people who i actually play team sports with come up to me and say they read it and can relate, even with all this i still found myself fighting my new found habit of laziness, the ill go in a minute, getting tied up in a random fucking video on Facebook about nothing of any relevance to me or my life.
I was determined though and i still am, I'm not following a diet, macros or anything like that but i am making smarter choices in food and just re building that habit of inputting what I've eaten into myfitnespal, I'm eating when I'm hungry and listening to my body but again instead of a take away or biscuits I'm trying to pick up something a little smarter and healthier.
That started really with my last post because i mentioned about how I've been researching new ways of training, so i switched it up, i picked up the swim shorts and a towel and went for a swim, done 20 lengths, stopped after 10 caught my breath had some water, done another 10, probably took me like 30-35 minutes but i ploughed through, it gave me a new sense of satisfaction as cardio had been a no go from me for roughly about a year or more.
When i think about it there was a couple of aims to this post, one was that I'm going to be brutally honest with what i type, i feel there is too much shit on social media, too much to make you feel bad about yourself and your own personal journey, so even like the above documenting small wins, they are still fucking wins, i did 20 lengths, i felt great, I'm happy with that! I'm not going to let Micheal Phelps training get me down because he did 100 in the same time i did my 20.
Secondly it was to hopefully give back the sense of feeling i got reading your comments and responses, the "shit, thats exactly how i feel" type feeling, that feeling that we are in the same boat, we are fighting the same battle, your road be bumpier than mine or mine maybe more so than yours but we both still got up and did what we had to do to get that one step closer to our goal.
again, i appreciate you taking the time to read my thoughts.